You help someone, arrange a contact for him/her, support career advancement or arrange the great love – But the person soon doesn’t remember, takes your help for granted and doesn’t give anything corresponding back?
What to do?
Well, you have made a bad investment.
Write it off.
This person lacks something that you unfortunately will not teach him: honourableness. You can’t build anything with people like that because they won’t learn.
If you want to build a real working network for yourself, you should think of yourself like an investor. You invest in people and relationships.
Some investments are sustainable and profitable for both, others are not.
If you realise that a relationship is one-sided and that in the long run you are putting more into it than you are getting out (in support, advice, inspiration or good feelings): Distance yourself, don’t put more into it.
This is a pity for the wasted time, but it is better than following up the wrongly invested resources with more.
It is important that you recognise your mistakes in time and draw consequences.
Because every hour you spend with people who do not understand the concept of mutual give and take, who are not honourable, is a wasted hour.
If you do this consistently, you will experience two effects in the long run:
1. genuine community of values:
Your environment clears up. You will only have people around you with whom you have a balanced give-take relationship – resilient relationships who share similar core values as you.
2. mutual respect
People respect you. Word will get around that you like to help, know a lot of people and enjoy investing in relationships – but that people better be grateful for your support and give something back too. Because you are someone who is serious, committed and above all consistent.
If people notice that you are not playing around, they will not play around with you.